fat.

Recently, i got to know myself a tad better. Its weird how you have been living with this very person for 21 years and yet you still do not know her well. Or perhaps i have changed, just that i didnt realised or whatever, I dont know.

And to tell the truth, i am not particularly proud of what i have discovered. Because it made me realise what a selfish, possessive, unreasonable, and oh not understanding ( according to someone) person i am.

And you know what, I dont mind being selfish, possessive, unreasonable and so not understanding if they are not the very things i am so against of. Because i cant stand when each time i execute my selfishness, possessiveness, unreasonableness and whats not, there's another part of me that screams " fuck you bitch" right back at my face.

And to tell you the truth again, I hate being scolded in that way, by myself . So the only thing i can do when i feel the surge of selfishness, possessiveness and unreasonableness rising in me, i fight them back. Its a tough battle that results in half watery eyes that i will pass off as a yawn ( or wipe off with a well-versed surreptitious sweep), fucking sore throat, speech impairment, self pity and etc...

Okay, to be straighter to the point, i am experiencing a very strong sense of helplessness: A feeling of not being able to manage. Its the fucking oh my god, what can i do when life presents you with no choice.

i hate my life.

arr. i miss beijing.

fly me back.

oh my god. Its the night.

its an impending doom.

I guess a simple "oh yar, i have been through that" from anyone can bring me comfort.
Because lately, i found myself seeking solace in such statements.

But no no, i dont get them often, or rather never.
Perhaps i nv said enough to elicit such response from them.
Or rather, i have been downing too much myself that they pretty much got manifested into something both hurtful for me and others.

And yes, i saw that coming.
Slowly, but surely, it will seep into us like poison.
Until we have no energy to retaliate.

and then its vittles

Everyone seems uber busy this hols. Be it busy with the boyfriend, or busy uh, okay everyone is just busy with their boyfriends. KNN, i shall be busy with mine too.

And everyday's just a food hunting day for me. So yesterday( Wed) it was down to Vittles at Sembawang.

It was totally empty when we got there in the middle of the day, and hence we kinda got to enjoy the whole cafe to ourselves. And the essence of it all is the free popcorn! Warm and just nice in its sweetness. Perhaps i should get a popcorn machine one day and pop my life away.

So, as usual, I had fish ( i only eat boneless fish). Parmesan coated fish fillet with gratinated potatoe and cheesy pasta. Fish is yummy and quite a huge portion. I think i still prefer Hog's.

And cj had this humongous burger-Moomoo burger. Huge and uber chunky. BAH

The subject of this photo is the burger in the foreground! See, its bigger than my face. lol

having lotsa difficulties cutting it.

and the free popcorn~

Really needed some exercise man. Headed down to eastcoast to cycle away all the fooood. oh no ( i swear i will start jogging next week no matter what).

yeh yeh i wanna be busy with my boyfren too >.<

Coast clear

and yea, you are gonna be up there very frequently real soon. BAH

Went ASTONS after that and had this. freak man.
I cannot eat anymore.

-
-
-
Packed my darn room today. And went on a sneezing madness when i was already wearing a mask to protect myself. I have came to a conclusion that i shall either live without a nose or migrate to another country in the future to save myself from all these shits forever and ever. Oh yar, i even found a letter that was penned for Saragoh in 2004! And its still with me, nicely sealed up and untouched.

out of curiosity, i opened it up and took a peek - a bunch of craps. But it helped me understand why i didnt pass it to her because in the last para i clearly wrote : I am still thinking whether i should even pass this letter to you. We shall see.

And so, 3 years later, we saw!

Sigh, i have stopped writing letters, I have even stopped sending christmas cards. I shall pick all these up again.

yar, but send them to who?

-
I need to go to church. I need to go to church.

Shudders.
Shudders.
Shudders.

I think i better stop,
before it gets too unfamiliar.

I didnt know thats what i would get.

Shudders.

Lunch @ hogs breath =D

With (about) half the amount i paid at Hogs the previous time, I had double the amount of food
at hogs lunch yesterday. And the main comes with a soup of the day and a Mississippi mudpie, though it looks more like a brownie to me. Had the pig-out with missgoh.

I wonder if its me or my camera. Cant seem to take unblurred pics nowadays.
But hey, this is my lunch- Pan fried dory fish fillet, and my fav hogs tail fries. Theres just something really savoury and tasty about the fries. OH, and I had a delicious chicken soup with
generous bits of chicken before this.

XY's chicken Dijonnaise! I love the creamy dijon mustard sauce. She gave me a large portion to try. And in the end, she couldnt finish either. SO i had quite abit of the chicken.
Eat out with xy next time!!! Can eat alot of her share.
She almost didnt touch her hogs tails while on the other hand, I wiped out mine =D

Mississippi mud pie. The brownie is served warm with bittersweet chocolate sauce!
AND i love the whipped cream. I nv liked whipped cream, but theres something diff
about this that makes it real yummy. I finished this too ( n someone only ate like 1/8 of it lousy)

Yet another blurr pic

Happy miss goh who is more than willing to share her food w me =)

And us~

Rather sinful treat but we walked it off later.
BUT overall still a sinful day coz we had a large large popcorn to go with our movie to end the day. >.<

child hood memories

To many, this may be just a bowl of kweh chup, but to me, it evokes fond childhood memories. keke.


Had this at some random foodcourt and it time-machined me back to those days when i still tugged at my mom's hand to ask for the kweh to be cut into smaller pieces. Come to think about it, when was the last time i ate out with my parents? sighh

anwww, the kweh chup tasted exactly the sameeee.. the sauce, the soup, and the noodle. OH MAN. how nostalgic.

And for people who do not know me well, its not that kweh chup had resurfaced in foodcouts or whatsoever, its just that for the past 10 years or so, due to the strict diet i have been adhering to, whenever i give myself a break, i wouldn't go for dishes like this ( i thought it was a waste of calories).

sucks, i shall bring back all my childhood memories one by one back this hols. Meaning i shall start to eat chicken rice, Nasi Lemak, hokkien mee etc etc =D

---

I have confirmed that FYP makes people go mad. Perhaps all the ahsiaos in bedok lib were researching for their fyps when they became like this. =x

and so, even Dunstan is going crazy doing some lit review for his proj. An abstract of our conversation below tells you why.

Liyi : Did you try the disgusting donut donut beside the interchange? its fucking disgusting!
.. ..
.. .. ( thats how the donut topic was started)
Dunstan: woahhs, lets open one too- "dabian donut"
Dunstan: its something like erm, donut without a hole.
Liyi: donut without a hole and a dabian tip ( thats gross but you see i had to play along with him abit la)
Dunstan: wrap with toilet paper.
..
...
.....
...... (and after awhile)
Dunstan: Eh! and you sit on toilet bowl and sell!


That man is going crazy..

oh no! the holidays gonna end! H O W!!

>.< >.< >.<

i must be m a d. it just started, hello hello, yea. calm down.
At the very least, i dont have to get back to that school. Am just not very comfortable with the uncertainties that i have to face in a new environment, coupled with the sad truth that geok and i will be separated, for once!

so i am just gonna go all out to enjoy this holidays, be it just slacking at home- i shall be contented =)


------ ---------

Watched two superb movies for the past week- Lust Caution & Enchanted.
Two VERY different movies that brought me very different cinematic pleasures. Coolness. Give me more of such movies ( not hairspray, its just totally not my type! =X)

Lust caution, so sad and intriguing that i guess not any other movies could hold me in this much suspense and make me walk out of the cinema any sadder than it did. Enchanted, on the other hand, was so romantic and fairy-tailish that i found it hard to burst the fantasy bubble above my head after watching it. =D

Super in love with movies that can bring me to the two extreme ends of my emotion

Nway, met up with shiyin and xiwen ( i know you are waiting to gup the photos) yesterday for Ice cream chef@ east coast road and Aston @ Katong! yummy.

Had a rum&raisin with malteses mix-in (my fav!).
Love the large juicy raisins that burst with flavour in every bite.
And heard that they allow bring-it-yourself mix-in! shall bring some cheesecake, kitkat, choc chunks, choc sauce there next time =D

next up! Aston! Xw's fried chicken with sour cream with baked potatoe and pasta salad.

My herbal baked fish with corn and onion rings. the fish is yummy. And less sinful, hee

and sy's. baked fish as well, with salad and mashed potatoe!

and the above three at just 18 bucks! craziness! i cant get a single dish at such price at other cafes~

AND today, i baked cheesecake! finally succeeded in making an un-runny one. hees\

mini cupcake size cheesecake.

its the dense type that i like. yumm
who wanna order from me?!

and last but not least, cant resist posting their pics. cuttee!!

CUTE

CUTE

ultimate cuteness!

bangKOK cont-

blehs. where did i end?

okay, nothing much on DAY1, but went to this backpackers street, Khaosan Road, to chill out at night, and have some cheeapp drinks. Really nice place to people watch.

DAY 2- woke up early to have breakfast and then headed straight to the weekend market- chatuchuk!!

Yippiness, its a shopping paradise ( minus the heat), and thanks to Deana's bangkok survival guide, i started out from ZONE 24 and started combing the whole uber place from there. We still got lost in the end, but owells, thats what ctc is for right??

I am afraid of dogs, but this lil one is so cute and soft and cuddly!

another one!

we rested and rested and rested. i swear this is the most tiring trip eva. ate so much crap and yet i lost some weight.

Loy Krathong

It was the festival of light in Thailand on our second day there. wanted to join in the fun at this sapanpoot river place, but all the taxis refused to pick us up, so we made do at another river near our place, which to me, looked more like a drain. HAD fun nonetheless despite my aching body.

look at the lil sparks in the river (drain?), its the krathongs! The thais believe that by releasing a krathong into the river, their worries will float away with the krathong as well. so i got mine too!!!

us with our krathong! ehh.

go away trouble!

so funs!

and this funny one is made of some eggy cake if i aint wrong.

guess what i love about bangkok? Its the illegal street stalls! How cool if we could have it here too. Because one could nv finished shopping, and the shops close way too early... so, you can continue out there, where the things are equally nice and more affordable as well!

and anyways, you can see lotsa pinkish thingy like the cabs, motorbikes, phone booths, chairs, etc in Bangkok because its the IN colour there now. ohh yeah and also, braces! You are in when you have braces on. so we bought our faked braces. keke. =x

this is it! the thai king set the pink trend across the nation. coolness

and our fashion statement! =) spent 39 baht on this fake braces. super painful to put on thou, so it didnt stay long. only wore it to ntertain ourselves.

anyways the central world is made out of coolness. and the whole area outside the mall. You find nothing like this in singapore. swear!

this is it. theres this vibe there that i am totally in love with. This pic does no justice to the place though. you gotta be there.

3rd day was back to chutuchuk to finish up the place. BY then, my legs were about 1/2 gone. Had to rest every an hour to allow myself to cont farther..

Chanced upon this funny buffet place and we decided to have our dinner there! And guess what, its only about 80 baht per head.

this is the place! packed with locals!

the convex thingy is for grilling and steamboat is at the side. Didnt know how to use
it at first, so i tested it out with a hotdog! yeh, it stayed put.

the correct method is to place some oily lard so that the oil can drip down and coat the metal thingy. blehs.

not healthy, but really, its delicious and not to forget, fun!

yummies

~co-co walk~

we were still adamant about going to sapantoot ( didnt get to go the previous day because of weird cabbies), so we went on the third night instead. A nice night market there with a whole array of things to see and buy ( we bought the braces there!). And further down is a flower market that sells ubbberr fresh roses at the lowest price i have ever seen.


4th day - yea, got to change to a hotel nearer to platinum. so we could spend the next two days there. Baiyoke Boutique- we were greeted with super duper uber hospitality. Theres even welcome drink!

the lobby!

the lift!

Pinky room with no bed bugs.

=)

It was platinum mall for the day.
We were half way through the 3rd level of the platinum mall when i officially declared the break-down of my legs. I couldnt move anymore! >.< baiyoke sky- the tallest building in thailand =())!

yeah, we had a lil corner to ourselves, and its a window seat!

indulge~

took lotsa sashimi, my favv!

at the observation deck on the 77th floor. oh yar, and gotta mention this. we tried the binoculars thingy there and thru it, i could see people selling things in the shopping centre far far away from me!! its a must try.

i am on a hotair balloon. . . .

on a tut-tut

on top of bangkok

and finally, on the revolving platform. its outdoor. super cooling. and you can see the whole bangkok. keke

the view from above.

I can only say this is a must-go in bangkok. If only i wasnt dying from stomach ache ( over ate from the buffet =X) . . . . .

5th day - it was a madness rush to do last minute shopping. My legs broke down again so we went for another massage, but this time solely on the foot. and very very lastly, went to my fav illegal roadside shopping again near siam square, must go must go!

and finally out loots..

this is the combined. much lesser than i expected. but really didnt see alot of things i like.
so strange right.

gah! nonetheless, its a super cool trip. And i am missing that place already. I wanna go back again to finish my remaining bahtssss~~