sometimes its hard to apply. Just like an exam, the prof will go on to tell you how you should apply the concepts in the exams and how the definition will not be tested, and that you just need to understand the concept well for the exam. fuck it, understanding it DOESNT mean you can apply it.
And sadly i am that very someone who doesnt know how to apply theories. I secretly hate open book exam, because for the past 12 years of study-pri, sec and jc- the school did not teach me how to apply. I just needed to memorise.

When i was in primary six, my mom was told by my form teacher that i was lazy and i needed to work harder during the meet-the-parents session. But at that moment i was left perplexed because its not that i dont want to work hard, its because i really dont know how to.

and i meant it. i thought i had studied everything i could, I didnt know whats more for me to do.


and now i am faced with the same how-to, the same how-do-i-apply.
I swear I understand and i am excited for you.
I am not gonna be some unreasonable shit or whatever.
But the idea of that happening for the next few years-and more- freaked me out.
Or perhaps i am just accustomed to always having you around.

He is wrong. You dont need a understanding girlfren for this job.
I think a strong girlfren is more like it.
And gues what, i am fucking not.

But its okay, i will get over it soon.
Afterall, its something i have to accept and adapt myself to for the next few years.
Just let me cry myself to death.